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(Photo by Ronda Churchill/Getty Images)
Nestled between Putin threatening to use nuclear weapons and the bulk of the Trump family getting sued for massive financial fraud were multiple stories about abusing COVID funds! Because the pandemic may be over, but the brazenness of people trying to defraud the government will never end.
The day kicked off with reports that the Department of Justice zeroed in on people who siphoned off upwards of $250M in COVID relief funds — that were supposed to go to feeding little kids! — for personal use. It’s always amazing that there are people in the world who embark on fraud and say, “Let’s steal from the federal government… no way those people will ever find out!”
But it turns out that was only the tip of the allegations of COVID shenanigans. The migrants inveigled to Martha’s Vineyard by agents working on behalf of Florida governor Ron DeSantis — who were good enough to leave a paper trail of their violations of federal kidnapping laws — have filed a class action suit.
Jonathan Turley, the legal analyst you call when you’re actually trying to get convicted to spring the rest of your crew for one last score, opined on the suit this morning.
The filing is a Jackson Pollock of legal claims with twelve claims thrown against Florida from false imprisonment to intentional infliction of emotional distress to misuse of the Coronavirus State Fiscal Recovery Fund.
One, I appreciate the Jackson Pollock link because Turley’s under zero illusion that he’s not speaking to the educational upper crust at this point. Two, what he characterizes as a frenetic mess is what the rest of us would characterize as “multiple causes of action.”
They alleged both false imprisonment AND that this violated their civil rights?!?!?!? I mean… who ever heard of such a pairing?
In reality, everyone. Salt and pepper aren’t as tied at the hip as those causes of action. They’re the rama lama lama ka dinga da dinga dong of legal claims.
Turley also notes with a sneer that the complaint doesn’t include federal kidnapping or human trafficking claims because he apparently thinks individuals can bring federal criminal cases these days. They do bring false arrest and imprisonment claims which are the civil equivalent but for Turley this is an opportunity to deride “cable programs” for still acting like this is a federal criminal case just because it ticks off every element of the statute! The nerve!
Honestly, reading Turley should trigger danger pay for any lawyer trying to maintain sanity.
That said, there is one of these things that’s not like the other in this complaint and that’s the explicit questioning of how a sitting government official managed to build a slush fund capable of chartering planes and sending people to Texas to perform this stunt. This complaint marks the first concrete legal response to the theory that some have kicked around for the last few days.
160. The American Rescue Plan Act of 2021 (ARPA) created the Coronavirus State Fiscal Recovery Fund to respond to the COVID-19 pandemic and its economic effects.
161. Such funds may only be used for specified purposes related to the COVID-19 pandemic emergency and related economic effects.
162. The $12 million that the Defendant State of Florida appropriated for the Defendants’ challenged conduct originated from the federal Coronavirus State Fiscal Recovery Fund and was therefore subject to its use restrictions.
That’s right! The complaint alleges that DeSantis took the COVID relief funds allocated to the state by the federal government — funds which he at one point refused to distribute to Florida citizens as part of his “denying that people are dying to own the libs” strategy — and used that money (or interest earned on undistributed sums of it) to pay for all of this.
The DeSantis administration appears to be taking the position that because one approved use of the funds would be moving people away from the COVID cesspool that is Florida to safer locations, it justifies the Florida government going to Texas to lure unsuspecting people to Massachusetts.
Making that add up to “protecting Florida citizens from COVID” would be an impressive feat. Even Turley, who used this claim to make his swipe about how all over the place the complaint was, wisely steered clear of trying to apply lipstick to this pig. Have we… discovered Turley’s sense of shame?
I’m sure it was just an oversight on his part.
Martha’s Vineyard Migrants Sue Ron DeSantis [Rolling Stone]
Joe Patrice is a senior editor at Above the Law and co-host of Thinking Like A Lawyer. Feel free to email any tips, questions, or comments. Follow him on Twitter if you’re interested in law, politics, and a healthy dose of college sports news. Joe also serves as a Managing Director at RPN Executive Search.
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