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(Photo by Win McNamee/Getty Images)
Trump has been charged with crimes more often than Rihanna has slid in my DMs. Yes, zero is a low bar, but anything above that number in charges is a reason to send out an S.O.S. Last week, I covered Trump’s… interesting decision to hire a lawyer who’s gotten a couple of musical acts out of their legal troubles. Given that his attorney made disparaging remarks about him not too long ago, I joked that the hire probably had a bit of desperation to it — must be hard for Trump to find lawyers willing to represent him at this point. According to the news, that joke had a bit of truth to it.
Former President Donald Trump offered his latest top lawyer a job without having ever met him, The Washington Post reported Tuesday.
Trump hired Evan Corcoran, a former federal prosecutor, in April, The Post reported. An unnamed source familiar with the exchange told the newspaper that Trump’s job offer came after other lawyers had declined to work for him.
If I were facing charges that could cost me a lot of coin and time behind bars, I’d at least be diligent enough to meet the guy I’m putting that much trust in. That said, Trump’s to-do list likely has some important things on it. Allegedly stealing more government documents? A round of golf, perhaps? Maybe I should be more even-handed here. Just because you didn’t meet the guy who could be the difference between how generous the next Above the Law headline is about you in person doesn’t mean you didn’t vet your representative at all.
“There was no vetting done by the president,” the person told The Post. “The president got on the call, asked him his name, and if he wanted to do this work, and he said yes.”
Oh.
In the event that Trump gets in future legal trouble like, I don’t know, facing legal battles over trying to get a golf course recognized as a cemetery for tax purposes, I’ve done Trump the favor of compiling a vetted list of lawyers that could help him.
- Matt Murdock: Matt has had quite a number of interactions with (alleged) criminals — he has done some of his best work in Hell’s Kitchen. His legal practice is really hands on.
- Jennifer Walters: Opposing counsel really should respond to her emails. You wouldn’t like her if you don’t respond to her emails. Highly recommend against Trump grabbing her by her pussy, though.
- Teru Mikami: Though dead, he may still be the best lawyer to eliminate Trump’s problems. Trump already has a reputation for advocating for the very good people on both sides of vigilantism, why not go for a vigilante lawyer? As hard as it is for Trump to find a lawyer, it would be even harder for prosecutors to go through with the charges once Teru finds out their names.
If you are faced with charges civil or criminal, please do a background check on your lawyers. This isn’t even legal advice — this is just common sense.
Trump Offered His Latest Lawyer The Job Without Having Met Him After Other Attorneys Turned Him Down, Report Says [Business Insider]
Chris Williams became a social media manager and assistant editor for Above the Law in June 2021. Prior to joining the staff, he moonlighted as a minor Memelord™ in the Facebook group Law School Memes for Edgy T14s. He endured Missouri long enough to graduate from Washington University in St. Louis School of Law. He is a former boatbuilder who cannot swim, a published author on critical race theory, philosophy, and humor, and has a love for cycling that occasionally annoys his peers. You can reach him by email at cwilliams@abovethelaw.com and by tweet at @WritesForRent.
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